Monday, September 28, 2009

New York Football is Looking Pretty Good

Well, it's been three weeks and it's still early but the Jet's and Giants look so awesome it's scary. Both defenses are killing it, looking hungrier than a gaggle of coked up Calvin Klein models. The Jet's gave up their first offensive touchdown after 2 weeks to the Titans and even then held them to 17 points. The G men also played well, embarrassing Tampa in a shutout holding the Bucs to a total 86 yards. Yes....86!Bradshaw the Giant's second back had more than that by himself.

Thursday, July 23, 2009

Hope For The Knicks

The Knicks "Subway" logoImage via Wikipedia

Knicks fans may have some hope. Due to the terrible financial restictions of most NBA teams going into the 2009-2010 season the Knicks have played the waiting game and may be able to retain two of their hugest assets in David Lee and Nate Robinson.

From the Daily News:

"Nate wants to stay in New York."

Goodwin refused to discuss terms of a possible deal, but according to a Knicks source, Robinson is expected to sign a one-year contract worth between $4 million and $5 million, or at least $1 million more than his qualifying offer.

Goodwin has had talks with European clubs about Robinson, but the agent denied that he's used those conversations as leverage with the Knicks.

"We did not call up the Greek club (Olympiakos) to drum up an opportunity for Nate," he said. "They called us."

One league executive suggested that Robinson's deal is being delayed due to negotiations between the Knicks and their other restricted free agent, David Lee. For weeks, Lee's agent has made it clear he is looking for a contract that will pay his client $12 million annually.

The only team with cap space to sign Lee outright is Portland. There is also a possibility of a sign-and-trade with a number of teams. The Knicks would prefer to sign Lee to a one-year deal, which would enable them to retain his Bird Rights and also give the club flexibility for the free agent class of 2010. If Robinson were to sign for $5 million, Lee would likely ask for $10 million since, unlike Robinson, he is a full-time starter.

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Monday, July 20, 2009

Weekend Review

Adam Lambert has excellent taste in hairstylesImage by feastoffun via Flickr

So what happened in sports this weekend? Well the Yankees finished off the Tigers in a clean sweep thanks to a good start from a fresh Joba coming off eight days rest. The Mets...poor, poor Mets...They took one game out of four in the ass whipping session that was the Atlanta series this weekend. Johan Santana the one good thing about the cursed Mets got the win on Saturday, right before they were beaten soundly on Friday. Oh! Oh! Oh! and guess what!!! Did you guess more injuries!?! Sure you did because the 2009 Mets without a fresh injury story would be like watching American Idol without that one closeted gay dude every season. So now Nieve is out with a leg thingy and Niese is spose to be coming in to replace him. I say he's off to a good start just by being named "Niese", the guy he's replacing is "Nieve". That's one letter from identical people! Now that's talent! Oh! as an added bonus Sheff has a lil' tweaked leg also, but it's not major...hopefully. I secretly just think these guys on the D L are all calling the Mets up and faking so they can skip work to go to Six Flags. No judgements...Six Flags rocks hard.

Also The Knicks went perfect in Summer League play!!!...Perfect in losing. Going 0-5 in Las Vegas. But when your team sucks harder than a young Vietnamese prostitute only wanting a better life believing your sperm is the key to that, sometimes the only thing you can do is look at the silver lining and that would be I didn't kill myself while watching the games. Oh, I wanted to..but I didn't. Rooks Douglas and Hill did aight. Douglas was very effective despite a terribly off shot and Hill progressed more and became more aggressive as each game passed. The big surprise was Nikolav Tskitasvilli looking like some euro Jordan prototype. Probably spelled his name wrong but who gives a shit. Win a fucking game first, then I'll promise to become a national spelling bee champion even if I have to take out a few twelve year olds to do it.
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Monday, July 13, 2009

The Met's Say Good Riddance to Lousy Half On A Good Note

CitiField, Home of the New York MetsImage by ChrisGoldNY via Flickr

Well...the Mets still have a waaaaay to go but at least they got two wins over the Reds going into the break. In 4th place now, 6 1/2 back it's not over but with no timetable on a few critical pieces going forward will be an uphill battle. Many are calling for heads to roll but I beg to differ. It'll solve nothing at this point and really, who could have predicted Citi Field would become an ICU instead of a ball park. We fired a good manager in Randolph and not much has changed since why would things be different this time? And say what you want about Minaya he delivers. Any big name he can get to bolster his team he has went out and done it. From Delgado down to Santana he has down the best to keep fans happy and the team competitive. Sometimes...just sometimes, it does come down to the players. If it's one fault he does need to address it is the farm. He needs to get that shit together. Quick. The Mets go back out Thursday with Olly ready to to pitch and set off a long road trip. When I say "ready" I use the term as loosley as R&B sensation Cassie's vagina. When I say "R&B sensation" I use the term as loosely as a pair of famous hollwood actress Kirstie Alley's panties on my head. And when I say "famous hollywood actress" ....okay, I could do this forever, point is the Met's need to get it together.
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NBA Summer League Fun!!!

Store bought cupcakes. Cheap and delicious.Image via Wikipedia

The NBA Las Vegas Summer League has kicked off while I was recovering from that roofie an obeese one legged woman gave me outside of Target. Can't remember her name so let's call her Heather Hills. Get it? Like Heather Mills but fat! I'm trying dammit. I should have known better than to beleive a 300 pound woman would willingly hand out free cupcakes to raise diabetes awareness. Anyway word is Tyreke Evans and Brandon Jennings either of which the Knicks could have had are putting on a show in Vegas. Meanwhile the Dicks...pause....pardon, the Knicks start off tomorrow with a squad comprised of various vagrants and hobos found dwelling in the subways under MSG but also a few notables including rookies Toney Douglas, Jordan Hill and free agent Morris Almond of various nut jokes and Utah Jazz fame. If you guys would like to follow the action and even peek at the schedule check out http://www.nba.com/summerleague2009/. Now I must shower...I feel vulnerable.
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Saturday, July 11, 2009

My Frustration With The New York Knick Free Agency Campaign

Just finished writing a post for the well run New York Knicks fan site Poasting and Toasting outlining my frustration with the New York Knick free agency campaign. I came up with a partically clever title as well...check it out...if yyou dare muahahahahahaha...no really, check it out.

Friday, July 10, 2009

Grant Hill Re-Signs With Suns

White Castle at the corner of Mott Ave and Bae...Image via Wikipedia

So Grant Hill re-signed with the Suns earlier today. Me? Don't care. Actually, I think we dodged a bullet. Grant deserves credit because his wife is hawt. Plus I guess he's kinda productive when he does play...you know when he's not gimped up. And...his wife is hawt. At one point I had a change of heart about the Knicks signing Hill...you know when I thought he'd be cheap...dirt cheap. But then I started hearing that Knicks President Donnie Walsh gave Hill TWO offers!?! One not so bad, 1yr for $5 mil OR the terrible deal 3yr for $10 mil. Really? Does Grant even have 3 years left? C'mon. Let's not tie up any free agent money with a guy who has played ONE full 82 game season in what? 14 years? C'mon. One for five is generous on the Knicks part because as productive as a player he is right now, he still doesn't answer any of the Knicks needs. In case you're wondering that would be consistent point guard play and interior defense. He is not a need ...he's a want, and you shouldn't blow your budget on a want or else you end up earning your meals by dumpster diving in a White Castle parking lot after having spent your whole pay check in a Patterson strip club adequately named Hi Beams Go-Go Lounge...at least that's what I hear happens...to other people. Not me.
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No...No, Wait. Lebron Will be a Knick

chinese takeoutImage by quite peculiar via Flickr

Just when I thought hope was lost...Andy my chinese delivery man (big up to Sheng Gardens holding it down on the late nite delivery) thinks Lebron will join the Knicks in 2010. As a serious sports observer interested only in facts I concluded two corrobarating peices of evidence. One, Andy works with fortune cookies all day. Two, fortune cookies are filled with all knowing, time honored wisdom. Connect the dots people!!! So Andy just happens to show up at my door when I call for delivery and replies that he thinks Lebron will be in NY when asked!?! That doesn't happen every day folks. Lebron James will be a New York Knick come 2010.

On another note neither Nike or LBJ were responsible for the dunkgate tapes...there was a mystery guest in attendance and I think you all will not be surprised to find that the tapes have been taken and are in possession by the one and only....one armed man. The tape was indeed taken with his...one and only arm.
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UPDATE!!!! Lebron James Did NOT Say He'd Join The New York Knicks In 2010

Gadzooks! As It turns out the agent who first had info on the Lebron James 2010 free agency update that used to play on the same intramural squad as Lebron's cousin, who happened to be the cousin of my ex-girl Shareene, was full of shit. Go figure.

Lebron James Says He'll Be With The New York Knicks in 2010...You Know...If You Trust Unconfirmed Sources

LeBron JamesImage by Keith Allison via Flickr

According to an unconfirmed source who was told by an agent who happened to play ball on an after school intramural squad with one of Lebron's cousins, who was the cousin of my ex girlfriend Shareene...Lebron James is adamant on becoming a New York Knick in 2010. After discovering this information I pondered it and decided it was legitimate because third party information is always dependable!!! Am I right or what!?!
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Tuesday, July 7, 2009

Change of Heart Regarding Grant Hill's Possible NY Knicks Stint

0G1G3704Image by Keith Allison via Flickr

I recently referred to Grant Over The Hill as brittle/fragile and aging suggesting he's no good or the Knicks despite being a generally nice dude. I change my mind. He is still as fragile as ever but apparently the Knicks only offered him 1yr for a portion of the mid level. Provided they split the mid in half that's like 2.5 maybe 3 mil at most and he is still interested!!! Grant Hill is brittle and past his prime but at that pricing it's kinda like a bum finding a half eaten rotisserie chicken in the dumpster. Would they rather live it up and make reservations at Mickey D's? Sure...but every one can't be a dollar menuaire baby! Due to budget constraints that half eaten chicken is looking pretty good...even with the embedded rat droppings. That's protein dammit!

And that's how I feel about Grant Hill. He is the rat turded half chicken. I'll take it alongside an extra helping of rat turd for that price!!! I thought they were gonna pull some Isiah shit like they were trying to do with Jason Kidd, 3yrs 18 mil my ass! So I think it's a win win situation. What do you guys think?
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Mets losin to the Dodgers...makes me sick, really it does!!!

LOS ANGELES, CA - MAY 18:  Ryan Church #19 of ...Image by Getty Images via Daylife

I still feel like crap. And the Mets are down 3 zip in the 4th...wait..wait, make that 5 zip to the Dodgers. Sometimes I wish the Mets would roid up just for a cycle instead of using classic drugs like dope and blow.
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Monday, July 6, 2009

NY's Weekend Sports Review : Jason Kidd Turns His Back On The Knicks

NEW YORK - NOVEMBER 16: Jason Kidd #2 and  Dir...Image by Getty Images via Daylife


Good day ladies and gents! A few happenings this weekend with your local teams. The New York Knicks have been kicked to the curb by Jason Kidd. It seems Kidd has decided to re-sign with the Dallas Mavericks after all. This is no problem at all to me because I'd actually feel bad for the poor ball boys at MSG that would have to change this guy's shit bag and catheter after every possession. But some fans wanted to see a geriatric woman beating juicer past his prime so you know...tough cookies. Next bullet to dodge, the more likeable but just as geriatric and extra fragile Grant Hill.

The Nets are pretty quiet right now. Not really expecting any more big moves from them as they are much like the Knicks eager for 2010. However according to the post, they did sign their 2009 1st rd pick Terrence Williams out of Louisville. He is a great pickup for them especially after having dealt Vince. He gets up there. If he got any higher he might as well grow dreads and praise Zion. I think he'll make more than a few exciting plays in Jersey and sell some tickets for the Nets in Vince's abscense. If he's lucky he might even snag a starting spot. And speaking of lineups, if the Nets have sense at all, they will start Raefer Alston at point next to Devin Harris at the two. Skip don't play. I am now a blogger so trust me, I know how to run a multi million dollar NBA franchise.

The Mets...the Mets...the Mets. My hometown team disgraced me with a 2-0 loss and a three game sweep to the Philedelphia Cock Sucking Cock Suckers also known as the "Phillies" if you wanna get technical. I joke about the Phllies all the time like that cause one, I hate them and two, they can take it...they're tough...sort of. Besides not all cock suckers are bad, some of them are very very good...but that's another story for another day. On the bright side (If you consider it to be despite the number of recent losing efforts.) The Mets have four all stars headed to St. Louis including David Wright! Hopefully they'll turn it around after the MLB all star break, and maybe our clubhouse will even stop resembling an overcrowded emergency room.

The bats for the Yanks were juiced up and ready to rip this weekend (pun intended) despite Chamberlain's poor outing the Yankee offense bullied their way to a 10-8 win over the Jay's seemingly by will alone...and juice. Just teasing, and I'm not just saying that to deflect the roid rage. On an even brighter note the ol' bue and white in stark contrast to Chamberlain's effort Aceves went 4 scoreless innings.

On the football front the Giants new defensive coordinator Bill Sheridan is a smart dude:
"We're gonna use the same terminology, we're gonna run the defense Steve brought from Philadelphia," Sheridan told Sporting News at last month's minicamp.

Like some wino who happens to be at the GWB subway station almost every time I'm there to try and molest me says, "If it aint broke, don't break it!" umm okay creepy dude...I have no pocket change but I do have a sudden urge to murder random hobos starting with...

As for the Jets, line backer Calvin Pace seems ta be gettin juicy wit it after being suspended for the first four games of the NFL season. I love the Jet's...they're like scrappy underdogs that get promising superstars sent to prison for getting their asses kicked and mauled in an underground organized fighting ring when all they had to do was juice up in the first place! But they are still cute and loveable so we love em despite being losers knowing the day will soon come when things will turn around. In all seriousness though Cal, how hard is it to take your "supplements" to the team doc and get an okay??? You know the rules right??? So follow em assbag...I'm so dissapointed.

Anyhow, Sorry for the late start. Feeling a little under the weather. I'll be okay though, got my momma's home remedy...Tylenol, Vodka, and Vicodin. Trust me, when I wake up I won't even remember being sick!!! When I awake new posts for all three (or gazillion if we're rounding) of my followers. Holla at me...I'm interested...no, no...I really am. How was your weekend?


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Saturday, July 4, 2009

Nothing to do with NY Sports but...


RIP Steve Mcnair despite that one yard difference I still consider you a champion. Sad stuff. I gotta go. Drunk and depressed don't mix well like Vietnamese hookers and my Uncle Ray. This has nothing to do with the Jets or Giants unless you count the fact that the Ravens and Titans are both AFC teams. However, I always liked the guy so to hell with it! Big up to Air McNair. This is all a little sad so excuse me I need to lift my spirits. If anyone needs me I'll be at the nursing home tossing the elderly out of their wheelchairs.

Happy 4th of July!!!




Happy Independence Day guys n dolls!!! Being my first post I'm sure I'm required to write some sort of relevant sports gibberish. So...a brief rundown;Mets lost to tha basterd Phils today, da Knicks are waiting on Mumra, pardon...J.Kidd for an answer on a contract offer and Calvin Pace of the Jets has been juicin but claims he wasn't responsible it in fact, was a one armed man. We'll delve into all these topics and more after the holiday but for now...lets get drunk!!!